Home Sweet Home?

“We’re almost there,” I said to my husband, Michael, earlier tonight.” His blue-green eyes were kind of droopy after having worked from 5am to 6pm today, yet I was able to find a spark of happiness behind them. When I spoke those words to him, I was referring to the home we’re trying to buy. I can’t even describe what kind of feeling it is to know we may be first time home owners by sometime next week.

Michael and I have known each other since our late teens. We got married a year after we met. I’m sure most of you are somewhat shocked to learn this. Meh. Not me. I knew it was love at first sight when I first laid eyes on him. And as for him? I think he was more attracted to my ass, which was nicely shaped back in those days LOL. I keep reminding myself these days, I’m not the hot little number I once used to be. *Sobs* I need one of those mirrors that don’t go any further below my collarbones!

Back to the story…before we got married, we lived in an apartment together. We wanted to test the waters and to see what life was like living with the other before we made a solid, lifelong commitment. To this day, we’re still married. We’ll be going on…hmmm…9 years in August? LOL…pretty bad that I have a hard time remembering how long we’ve been together. Now in the duration of that time, we’ve lived in many apartments. Until two months ago, I told him I had it. I was fed up. Here’s why…

We received a letter from property management stating our rent was going to be raised an extra $10 a month come time our lease renewed, equaling a total of $815.00 per month. I hit the roof that day and told Michael we were moving. I didn’t care where! I just wanted to get the fuck out of the place that’s sucking me dry out of all my hard earned dough! Needless to say, he argued with me. He tried to convince me that there aren’t many affordable places we can live, that have decent schools and safe neighborhoods all in the same proximity.

One day I got home for work and he was doing something on the computer. He called me over and I put my purse down and kicked off my shoes (the ones my friends at work say look like pilgrim shoes). I walked over to where he was sitting and he showed me a mobile home for sale on the internet. BEFORE YOU CRINGE, I know there are some people out there that look at these types of homes and turn their noses at it. It’s a HOME. And it’s a START. And lastly, it’s a roof over my head, including my family.

It bothers me that people are judging me already for the type of home I’m trying to buy. How dare they look down on me when all I’m doing is trying to provide for my family? I’m sure it’ll only get worse when/if Michael and I actually get the home. It’s alright though. Why, do you ask, am I not taking it so personal? Because I’m learning as I get older, that life isn’t about impressing other people. It’s all about surrounding myself with those I know that will love and support me unconditionally, no matter how little I can afford.

Have a great Wednesday peeps. I’ll keep you informed on how things are going with the home. Caio for now!

I Sloganized Myself Tonight!

It’s late. Really late. Alright, so it’s only 11:44 at night but still, I’m pretty damned tired here. After the week I had, I’m looking forward to doing absolutely nothing this weekend. A few moments ago, I was reviewing the Antonio post I’m working on to post at the Bar Forum. I considered adding some more to it but again, I’m tired and my poor brain is no longer functioning. In fact, as I write this, I think the only way I’m doing this while making sense (or am I?) at the same time is because my brain has switched onto autopilot mode.

This blog is going to be the kind where it only takes about 10 minutes to whip out. Hmmm…that last part of the sentence didn’t sound good. Let’s try that again. 10 minutes to slap onto my blog. There. That’s better. Anyways, back to where I was originally going with this.

Winter and I were IMing each other when she threw over a site she wanted me to check out. Turns out it was a slogan generator. Like any generator, you have to put something into the field and at first, I chose my real name.

First thing I came up with: “Everything is better with Laurie on it.”

Alright. So that can be interpreted as many different things. Not surprisingly, the first thing that came to mind was that I sound like a condiment you would put on a hot dog or cheeseburger. Don’t ask. Please, just don’t ask. This is ME writing the shit that goes on inside my head, remember? I get these random thoughts and…yeah. I know. No need to tell me I’m weird. And for the record, no, I didn’t eat any paint chips as a child.

After showing Winter what I came up with, she suggested putting Shiny into the generator. And guess what? I love it!

“Between love and madness lies Shiny.”

Describes me well, or so I personally think so. Best part about this generator, it comes with a code that you can place just about anywhere your little ole’ heart desires! And there you have it folks! My slogan!

Feel like sloganizing yourself? Have at it! Here's the link! http://www.blogthings.com/theslogangenerator/

Your Slogan Should Be

Between Love and Madness Lies Shiny

The Slogan Generator

The Price I Will Pay

Ahhh, summer is on its way, folks! With the turn of the season, that means the concerts are on their way. And consequently, it also is the time of year where I blow my money like its going out of style. However, the way I see it, it’s so totally worth it. I love going to concerts for numerous reasons: great music, brawls, mosh pits, crowd surfing, drunks, people. Sure, to some people reading this blog, the things I listed more than likely aren't their idea of a good time, yet to me, it’s heaven all in one arena.

I’ve been to numerous concerts in my lifetime. I can’t name all of them because honestly, I’ve forgotten (yet another reason why I earned the nickname Shiny). There’ve been times when I’ve wondered how much money I’ve spent in concert tickets altogether since the first ticket was purchased. Shit, my guess is at least $5,000? Just a ballpark figure. That’s with fuel, food, drinks, tour t-shirts included too. Shit…why does this cost so damned much? Meh. Doesn’t matter to me really. When it's one of my favorite bands, going to their show is priceless.

Now this is where I’m going to get to the point of this blog. Like I said, summer is upon us and here I am, beginning my scrimping and saving for the upcoming shows. So while I may be bitching and complaining that I can’t have my fun now, come summer, I'll make up for the fun that was placed on hold. Good things come to those who wait…right? Not necessarily. You see, there’s this one particular tour that I especially enjoy attending. It’s become tradition to hundreds of thousands of fans and it’s about this time of year, when people all over the world are itching for the tour’s lineup of bands TBA. I’m talking about Ozzfest.

Yes! Yes! Yes! I love seeing the Prince of Darkness in concert. Along with some of the other bands that are privileged enough to tour with the old geezer. Please note, when I say ‘old geezer’, I mean that with respect. I mean, Ozzy’s how old now? And I’m sure all the drugs he’s consumed in his lifetime hasn’t helped the aging process.

Anyways, here’s my beef.

FUCKING METALLICA. I mean it! FUCKING METALLICA! I’ve seen these guys in Chicago of ’03. Talk about a fucking killer show! The prices for the tickets were steep as hell, but overall, I feel that it was worth it.

Alright, alright…stop the driveling and get to the point already!

Sometime on the radio today, it was announced that Metallica will be touring with Ozzy this year. Does anyone have a clue what this means? If you’re scratching your head right now, let me explain it in 4 words: Out Fucking Rageous Prices!!! The cost alone of going to Ozzfest can cost a pretty penny if you want decent seats. Now add the Kings of Metal to this tour, and you’ve got a show that will force your ass into bankruptcy. I think I may need to explain myself here. I know no one’s holding a gun to my head, telling me to buy these tickets or else. But for those that truly know me know that I’m a diehard concert goer and that I will get these tickets one way or another. I don’t care if I have to starve for these tickets. Hell, I’ll even go as far as getting a second job if need be.

The thing that really pisses me off, is why the FUCK do these tickets need to be so costly??? The cost for Ozzfest tickets is reasonable, that is, if you want to park your ass on the lawn. Now if it’s true that Metallica is headlining this tour…I’m screwed. Royally. And the reason the tickets would be so outrageously priced would be Metallica’s doing. These guys really love there money. Understandable. I love money too. But if you’re as famous as these guys, and are sitting on the pile of green they’re sitting on, why would you feel the need to rape your fans out of their hard earned money when all they want is to show their loyalty to you? Am I making a valid point here? I hope so. It’s just something that burns my ass.

Okay…I’m done bitching now. Have a great Wednesday!

The 5 Things I Want Or Would Like To Do

Over the weekend, I put some deep thought into what I would blog about next. Of course, I never did come up with anything interesting. Big surprise? Not to me it’s not. Thanks to Winter, I got to read a bunch of cool blogs she had intro’d me to. Unlike me, she knows where all the good shit’s at. With that said, I got a good look at what types of blogs are out there and it fueled my ideas on what to blog next.

So let me show you what I came up. I’m going to list the 5 things I want or would like to do. Go ahead, call it wishful thinking, call it what you will. I don’t care. There are two reasons why I’m blogging tonight: 1. I haven’t blogged since uh, last weekend, was it? And 2. I really don’t feel like writing a particular story at the Bar, the forum I write at along with several other friends. I had a rough week with one of the characters I write and I just don’t want to write him at this point. For some reason, the story was a living hell to do. I don’t know whether it was lack of motivation or if I was getting confused about the facts I was supposed to use from prior posts that are tied into this particular story, but seriously people…I wanted to pull my fucking hair out! I was that frustrated with the damned thing! Alright, enough with my bitching. So without much further ado, I bring you the 5 top things I want.

1. Chris Evans and/or M. Shadows

This was a toss up. And if you’re asking why I have more than one thing for number one, be lenient on this poor girl! It was a really tough call for me to make. Some of the writers at the Bar forum knows that I have eyes for these two dudes. If I had the option to meet one of them, which won’t happen until the day hell freezes over, oooh…*bites knuckles*…Shit…here I go again. I can’t decide. I give up.

Anyways, Chris Evans (the pic of the dude below) portrays Johann Kohl at the Bar. Johann is one of my main characters that I’ve been writing stories about for two years now. He’s got a shitload of history under his belt and I’m putting the finishing touches on the story I’m working on right now before he’s put on the backburner for a while. That is, until I can come up with something else to make his life a living hell!

I can’t quite figure out what it is about Chris Evans that makes me go all girlie inside. Maybe it’s that nice V cut that starts at his hips and narrows down to his *cough*. Could also be that trail of hair that runs from those fabulous pecs of his all the way down to his *cough, cough* Fuck! Can’t stop choking here! Will someone be nice and get me a glass of water?

Moving on, Mr. M. Shadows (picture below) plays the part of Malice aka Mace MacGillvray, a nice kid betrayed by his cruel uncle that told him lies o’ plenty, enough that fucked Mace over big time. Needless to say, Mace matures into a royal asshole. And the best part? He’s from Scotland. Eat your hearts out ladies. I’ve been trying to find an excuse for well over a year now on how to get his ass into a kilt. I’m working on it.

One of the reasons why I couldn’t settle on Chris Evans alone was because of M. Shadow’s guns! Look how nice those fuckers are! Woot! Woot! And the tattoos on his amazing body make me go absolutely nuts. That’s not the end of it however. He’s got piercings too. When I picked out the person that would portray Mace, M. Shadows came to mind instantly. To this day, I’m proud with the choice I’ve made. Of all the male celebrities out there, I don’t think there’s a single person out there that could’ve played his part so well. Pat on my back…pat on my back!

2. To meet Jonathan Davis of KoЯn.

There’s something about this guy that tears my heart out every single time I hear him sing. And yes, I’ll be the first to admit it, I’ve cried while listening to some of his stuff. I don’t know if it’s because his childhood was so fucked up and I can hear the pain in his voice, or if it’s my own feelings that come out that get me all emotional. I’ve been a devoted fan since the first time I heard them on my radio in my bedroom, all at the young age of 13. I’ve seen KoЯn 9 times in concert and I plan to celebrate on the 10th. Has there ever been a musician that you felt close to? Not in a stalker kind of way, but the way in which you feel like they’re singing the words you feel inside. That’s Jonathan in my eyes. Like most teenagers, I had a slightly bumpy ride and one of my comforts was to listen to Mr. Davis. I’ve seen some footage of him and the band on vids before, and I have to say, the guy seems genuinely nice. In addition, the guy’s hot. He wears kilts. Yet another reason why he seems like a likable dude.

3. To Run and Own a Coffee Shop

Mmm…coffee. If I had my own coffee shop, I’d probably put myself out of business before I could make a single penny. I love coffee and drink it every day. Over the past five years, I’ve gone from the shit that tastes like donkey piss to the good stuff. Where I work, they serve Hills Bros. This is thee worst tasting coffee, ever! Period! Thee End! Once I realized that the Hills Bros. and I don’t get along, I began to bring in my own coffee. I even have my own coffee pot at work because I refuse to drink any other coffee than my own.

I don’t want anyone to drink bad coffee. If I won’t drink it, I don’t want them to. Hence the reason why I think I’d be a good coffee shop owner. It’s a job I would take pride in.

4. My old 1986 Chevette

I want my first car back. I had the some pretty damned good times in it. When I first got my license, my mom passed it down to me. It was a clunker, yet it got me from point A to B. And sometimes A to Z. I drove that thing all over the city I live in currently. With my friends riding along with me and a stereo that’s treble sounded as bad as a fork clinking around in a tin can, it was always fun! And the summers were great to cruise around in it with the windows rolled down. Yes, I miss my Chevette. When it broke down, my parents sold it for parts. Guess I won’t be getting it back afterall, huh?

5. To Write with Perfection! Well, Perhaps Just Write Better!

It’s been slow going but I’ve seen improvement. My writing used to be downright awful. Thanks to Winter, she’s shown me how to write well and now I can actually say, I’m not so ashamed of my writing anymore. At the bar, we have archives where some of my old old old posts are. If I’m having one of those days where I think my writing plain sucks and that I should throw the towel in, I always turn to the archives. They always make me feel better about myself.
I would like to simply be able to snap my fingers and be the best writer out there, but after giving that some thought, I think I would reconsider. What fun is it if you can’t see your progress? Plus, challenges can be fun. If I ever get stuck on a sentence, I look at it like a game of tetris, moving it around and tweaking it until it fits.

So that’s all I have for now. I don’t know what I’ll blog about next, but until next time, have a great week!

Why Star Wars is on My Shit List

I’ve loved Star Wars all my life. I can recall to this day clutching onto my aunt’s arm and hiding my face between it and the couch every time Darth Vader would enter the scene. I used to cheer on the Rebels whenever a fight scene would break out, jumping and shouting for them to ‘get those bad guys’. Throughout the years, I’ve grown up with Star Wars, claiming I’d never become jaded with the movie. That held true until I introduced it to my three and half year old son. Now I’m convinced that I’ve made a mistake. A big mistake.

When Wyatt, my son, was much younger, I was adamant to have him experience the joy and fun I had while I grew up with SW. So when I felt he was old enough, which was roughly around the age of three, I popped in the dvd and to this day, he watches the movies nearly every single day. It wasn’t so bad at first, but quite frankly, I think I’ve created a monster. The kid lives for Star Wars. He breathes it. He even acts it out with the toy light sabers that my mom had bought for him, her thinking it would be a nice addition to the rest of the SW toys she’s bought for him. Thanks mom.

At first, using his light sabers while dueling with him was funny, now it’s got me wanting to put the damned things away, never wanting to see them again. Well, at least for a long while anyways. The kid just might be an actor someday, I swear. He’s really good at faking his death when my light saber slides across his belly. He’ll make this sound of ‘ohhhh…’, then collapse to the floor. He also knows some of the movie lines. Wyatt really enjoys it when we dialogue together. I’ll tell him that I’m his father and with a dramatic cry, he replies that I’m not. The thing that really makes me laugh though is when he mimics the Sand People’s sounds and the way they move.

One day, on the way to his sitter’s home, I thought I would be a nice mom and play the SW soundtrack in the car for him to enjoy. Yet again, I’ve made another mistake. Now every time we go somewhere, we listen to it all the time. If I don’t play it, it just makes for a miserable ride and everyone knows how fun it is to have a screaming kid in the back of your car.

Going back to what life is like at home and all the SW toys he has there, I see them everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE. It doesn’t matter where I’m at, they’re there. I’ve even slept with Darth Vader before. Now before your mind starts going to the gutters, let me explain. I was trying to catch some Zzzs on the couch the other night when I shifted around a bit, only to discover that I was no longer comfortable. When I felt something sticking in my back, I reached a hand under myself and pulled out Mr. Prick himself, Darth Vader. See what I mean when I tell you they’re everywhere? That’s not the last of it however. I’m sure most of you can relate when I say how fucking bad it can hurt when you step on one of your kid’s toys. Yup, I’ve stepped on them too…to be exact, it was his Bounty Hunter Pez dispenser the other day. It hurt a lot less however, compared to when I step on his Hot Wheel cars or the other toys strewn about the place. And let me tell you about the Darth Vader piggy bank. Wyatt insists that he pushes the button on the platform mean old Darth Vader’s standing on every time he comes into me and DH’s bedroom.

“Impressive,” he and Darth Vader say together after the button’s been pushed. “Most impressive. But you are not a Jedi yet.”

*Sigh* Life will never be the same. I’m afraid that as much as I love SW, I’m beginning to grow tired of it. I had only wanted him to grow up with SW like I had, not become obsessed with it. C3PO says it best when he tells his trusty droid companion, R2D2…

“We’re doomed.” Yup. I most certainly am.